lost my way

yeah i got heartbreak hanging off my hoodie strings You said forever, you didn’t mean a thing I keep your name in my nicotine Tryna numb the truth in the in-between I don’t trust love, I don’t trust me Every promise turns into debri You crossed my heart, crossed your fingers Left me alone with the memories I’m still here but I’m half gone Sleeping through days till the nights come I don’t wanna die, I just don’t belong Been waiting on peace for way too long I’m coping with drugs and a broken heart Saying I’m fine but I’m falling apart Lost my way fuck lost my way fuck Lost my dad way too damn young Now I talk to the sky when I’m fucked up I wanna get better, I swear I try But I’m stuck in a loop, just waiting to die I’m screaming for help in a whispering tone Still breathing, but I feel gone Grief hits hard when the lights go low Every man ever I loved had to fucking go You stabbed my back then you watched me bleed Said you loved me what a lie to keep I self-medicate my insomnia Tell my demons “yeah, follow me” Every high got a crash attached Every smile just a memory I look alive, but I’m not okay Just surviving another day If I disappear, it’s not cause I’m weak I’ve been tired since seventeen I’m coping with drugs and a broken heart Saying I’m fine but I’m falling apart Lost my dad way too damn young Now I talk to the sky when I’m fucked up I wanna get better, I try But I’m stuck in a loop, just waiting to die I’m screaming for help in a whispering tone Still breathing, but I feel gone I don’t wanna be another name on a shirt got another “wish I called” that still hurts I got dreams but I sabotage Love feels like a fucking mirage I’m not suicidal, I’m just exhausted Tired of feeling like so fucking lost and If heaven’s real, tell my dad I’m trying I’m just stuck between living and dying living and dying Fucking stuck