JOSH PT3 public version

I feel like I’m gonna crash like I’ve lost myself and control and the plummet from this cliff I’m on is gonna take its toll life ain’t all candy and lollipops remember salt and sugar look the same Pepole can be nice to your face then talk shit on your name and as soon as something goes wrong there soon spin the blame then your bully yourself like I can’t believe I fell for this again Sometimes Im like is this a simulation then I remember my mental disorder and derelasation is part of my situation but I dig into my mind and it’s like a busy train station voices of a thousand people and 700 of them are complaining the other 299 are sat in anxiety and the last one of them died of a broken heart in 2019 yeah god job I chose sobriety but this addictive personality just got a shortened variety so I chose to detach myself from society Then just end up more depressed to the point where I don’t want to get dressed lay in the bed till my head becomes more of mess it’s like self torture don’t want to eat and no water want to lay there and drown in misery and slaughter stare at the walls till I’m convinced there talking piss in a bottle cos I’m not in the mood for walking or I’ll do the complete opposite and comfort eat strip the fridge of chocolate high fatty foods oh and lots of meat then just scoff it like an animal antidepressants make my head feel like it got hit with a cannonball felt like driving my car full speed at a wall then fly through the windshield and why I’m in the air shoot myself with fuel wields but with that said thank god I found music don’t really care if it gains traction or who the fuck views it but once again thanks for listening to me this has been Josh pt 3