so what I miss you

I still see your face in the back of my mind... Sixteen candles, but one didn’t shine... Now I’m left here... Just me... But they tell me to "move on"... yeah? So what? --- So what, I miss you, wanna fight me on it? They tell me “time heals,” well the clock been dishonest Got a smile stitched on but inside I'm haunted My twin’s in a grave and they say “just stop it” You were my shadow, my laugh, my rage We were inked in the stars, two lines on a page Now I’m flippin’ through life like I’m missin’ a stage Like the script kept goin’ when they ripped you away They say “God got a plan,” well tell Him it’s trash ‘Cause I’m sittin’ in class with a ghost in my lap Tried prayin’ for peace but it bounced right back And the mirror just shows who I wish I still had --- So what, I miss you? So what, I cry? You died, but I’m the one buried alive Can’t breathe, can’t eat, can’t sleep at night And I’m tired of pretending I’m fine all the time So what, I break down? So what, I scream? They don’t know our bond, they don’t see these dreams Where you still show up, but then fade mid-scene And I wake to a world that don’t feel like me... --- I punch walls, I snap for no reason Tryna act normal but inside I’m bleedin’ Therapist talkin’ like grief got a season But this pain don’t melt — it just freezes and deepens Sixteen... you died, I died too Now I’m stuck in a life that I can’t move through Yeah I fake laughs, yeah I got my crew But ain’t nobody ever gonna be you Our birthday hits and I don't light no cake I light candles in silence, feel my chest break Instagram love but it all feel fake ‘Cause the world kept spinnin’ the night mine quaked --- So what, I miss you? So what, I drown? So what if I still hear your voice in the sound? Of the wind, of the night, of the rain comin’ down I just wanna scream, but I don’t make a sound So what, I’m stuck here? So what, I fade? Tryna trace your laugh like a song replayed So what if I say I don’t wanna be brave? You were my heart... now I’m just the grave --- They call it survivor’s guilt... But I don’t feel like I survived I feel like I’m walkin’ through your death on repeat Like... How do I keep goin’ when I ain’t whole?