To tell you the truth

I breath in , look for you im missing you i know ive been hell on you , To tell you the truth i hate who iam most of the time i cant tell , im somewhere else lost in my thoughts, ive got to stop ,hurting myself its hard feeling like your better than you really are, My life as been filled with loss and most of it is my own damn faults, i lead with anger , i say things that cost , but dont mean them at all , Im just thrown off , i wish i didn't analyze every though in my mind till it materialize, its not real i relize, It hurts my life cant get right baby im throwed out on back road with a load on my mind i try to stop the visions that dictate my decisions its the wreaks and calitions why im not winning sometimes sinning blended the truth it affectes infectous collection dissected cuts me down so i know it hurts you i dont want you too know what i go threw, trying to be better than ever and not a failure im embarrassed