flashback my middle finger

backflashes lock on the past flashing back crying over memories that we used to have that used to make me laugh really fuxks me up makes me even more sad finding our family pictures thrown to the trash never realized the grudges u was holding back I made u into a mom u made me a dad love was supposed to let go any drama that you go thru really don't want the new you I rather still have the old you wasn't trying to control you missing you really wanna hold you nobody I can trust I can go to hope you know i love you and I never gave up on you still waiting holding my breath trying not to stress doing my best at everything I do but I keep getting confused asking myself what did I do to you am I really that fuxked to lose you had me convinced I was your king you was my queen and we was real it wasn't a dream how could the bad weigh over the ? good think my batteries are getting low or this fuxking scale d nlon't work right anymore ( I can't see , can't see u ) please don't fuck your life up anymore didn't mean to hurt you I don't wanna hate you don't wanna turn you to my enemy love and hate them some thin line but still lines blaming myself didn't realize the reasons why asking myself why me sounding selfish but I was all yours suppost to be all mines didn't wanna think that it was all lies still wanna accept that as the truth dats what I get for loving you and trusting you and I m still in denile keeping u by my side staying a sucka for ya love hoping it fucking helps holing on holding on holding on let it go can't let u goo goo no my one any only suppost to never leave you lonely nobody else know me close my eyes only way to back to you bitter sweet memories but it's like u don't remember me anymore don't remember me anymore ( I can't see , can't see u ) you and me ) our family ) losing my focus closing my eyes fucking overdosing lost my ride or die ohhh nooo