consciously rare

i rarely feel conscious on an even level of actual awareness of whatever it is that im doin at the time here these days and cant truly understand on how many versions of myself that im dealing with and also cant tell on wether or not if im hating on myself from some unkown territorial realm that i cant seem to hack out back to whack a string a settled issues good god i usually need a tissue especially after dwelling in my past all the time thinking bout some better times when we had a blast of fun creating memorys of true passion everscape to elevate my consciousness over time and will be uncompleted until my wife actually comes back in my life. peace be with us all of the mind and heart and with all of ones soul to create more passionate strides amongst the lights of the stars and beyond the tests of our hearts. hopefully to get a better start on the jumpstart of my part of mine own design in situational lines apart from time spliced out to compt doubt to be out for my self esteem droubt to where i can learn my wings and fly my way out.