better my self

Yeah, I got a plan to make a lotta changes But it's harder to breathe when your heart is racing I been caught up in constant contemplation It's just not a phase, it's too complicated Can't concentrate when the cuts get deeper If I were you I wouldn't love me either My problem is I'm too fucking eager I got a taste of revenge and there's nothing sweeter So I'm numbing the pain with another shot Till I lose balance and my blood is rushing Just another fuck up meffed up in public They don't trust me at all like I'm up to something Like why can't they ever hear me screaming? the preacher told me I need Jesus Trapped in my head, tryna find some freedom It feels like I'm some sort of evil genius Please don't talk to me 'cause I don't wanna be bothered And I can't fall asleep, I'm busy fighting these monsters Why's it so hard tbreathe, somebody call me a doctor I think I'm outta my mind Think I'm addicted to bad news Everyone I love ends up being stab wounds Maybe they did what they had to I'm better off alone jus give me dope and tattoos, I'm faded I feel like nothing takes the stress away This bible's promising me better days I gave it my trust and I done let it stray So fuck these promises I said I'd never break I pray for peace yet I prepare for war I'm thirty four these tears could fill a reservor You bitches think you know me, you don't Throw a hundred million stones tryna break me, you won't I thought I quit doing dope for good, been smoking hella good blunts of wood just wanna better myself, momma said, "I know you got your light temporarily taken away But living here is better than jail",