another day full of guilt another day full of shame another day looking at the monster i became why its been so hard to change its crazy when the man in the mirror is the only thing left to fear trying so hard to leave addiction in the rear and now i see so clear another flash back to drive me mad looking at all the life i had then threw away with nothing left to say i goto find a better way its been so long ive been lost without a purpose feeling worthless aways fucking nervous looking calm on the survace but anxiety grips me at the throat till i choke hoping this time i float and dont sink suck at the brink of going back serious as a heart attack no time to lack its time to act world spinning around everytime you come around i start to break down wishing i could smile not frown in days past i used to push conplancy thru the needle feeling hollow then to the bottle i would follow and start to slowwlo as my skyies turning gray not wanting to live another day trying to find a better way with nothing left to say so i just hit my knees and start to pray im stuck trying to get to heaven from hell feeling like a shell with the real me is trying to get out filled with self doubt wanting only to scream and shout and i cant see a life without feeling lonely even in a room packed with fake friends wishing it all would end as the needle tears another hole in my skin looking for a lession in all this hurt always second guessing causing depression this is my confessionas as my life keeps regressing always looking for a blessing as i keep stressing like i could never chill so i pop another pill AND ANOTHER till i get my fill its ok cuz death is the only bill life aint easy trying to find a peace of mind going thru life blind trying to get it right this time im a fauther with no fauther in sight so how can i get it right and make it thru another night its crazy when a wisper equals scream wishing i had a team living life like its a dream its all obscene while im trying to find a shoulder to lean another story told and hand to hold living life so cold its a sight to behold to go from junkie to father but i wouldnt have it another way if my sky was never gray i wouldnt be here today but thats another story as this one begins another day alive everything i ever did i did to survive but stress starts to overwhelm as i watch the bridges burn woundering if it will ever be my turn finding love as its been lost and locked away trying to find a better way to have a brighter day but these words unsaid would wake the dead as i lie awake in bed with mislead thoughts in my head as i look to the future from this past darkness is all i see trying to find the words to tell you what you ment to me wanting to find every feeling thats been lost as adiction taunts but i cant let ot be the boss adiction tore us apart trying to put us back together to last forever afraid of never i miss you so its been so long and so hard to let go can never tell you no