I'm starring at the walls again

I'm starring at the walls again sending texts cos I spent every last bit of common sense cos I often spend what I offered ahead not thinking clearly can you hear me at the opposite end logic lost when I'm locked in you tied it in like a knot in my head Ima start now to let it out hoping that I knock it down the shit Ive found out about us damn I doubted it so much hours of giving up I was down but I lifted us up I feel like I fucked it up but the love just lifted us past gave us both another go we both had to just let it go let it flow words we heard from above but it left us on a different page so we got cut stuck as we missed one another was it too late so we asked if one or both needed to separate In other words did she need some space like from me wanna little holiday at this stage we had to wind it back cos we couldn't resist we found out that without each other the other would really start to miss but as the cycle pasts by quick Where weeks felt like sixty minutes frustration would reappear it would co exist an it hit it’s limit Still it ended up wanting to test our luck I know the shit I did was dumb from another perspective it looks like I'd lost our buzz and i sent signs that Id lost some love an so it ends up taking away more trust that I'd earnt but it burns so that window is shut frustrated enough shit only gets tough when I discovered and I saw our end feelin' like we was dead as words absurd getting twisted up in my head thinking did you say but I'd never heard what was said when i hear you laughing over the phone while I'm at home all alone pazzed out in a wack zone shits getting crazy with the ice cold lost so we raged every last head even the half dead passed every letter checked what you'd said going back to then an ya know it's not far fetched everytime we laugh I wish I never pushed us apart questions then would start about our future the positive half obvious as fuck yo I wanted to last fraction of my back bone ya constantly on the attack like rap flows in battles spitting no cap an patch up it's like my head attacks so I blaze the bud to relax but unawares it begins to tax I'm melting down like some candle wax no cap I can't see a single fact it's like every little fuckin act turns around an cripples me from front to back I'm opposite to what I shouldve been could've sinned some say that I'm sickening I'm sick of hearing this I don't miss a single thing an they say that over think I think I saw the evidence but every second in my memory loses common sense so my thoughts by all reports begin bugging again when your out with your friends I tell my self it's so innocent I try to listen but my vision blurs then I'm forced to itch it I try an rip every negative twitch I ain't equipped to administer an dismiss this I try to credit my misses cos this is the shit that kills us in reality I'm left to guess which set of words