trying to fit in

Since i was 5 i could drive, and papa said i could have my first pocket knife, Its been a rough life, but its been a hell of a ride, 13 just got in middle school those was the days , by 8 th grade shit we was dipping, got some smoke ,we gonna laugh ,clown ,and Joke, go on a joy ride always time two go 2 quick to fight didnt have to even be provoked,where we grew up better hold ya own , If ya knew me back then just a kid,out of control, trying to fit in, Oneday i came home, mama was standing in the kitchen, i looked her in the eyes, i knew i was caught in a lie, when she cried id die a little inside, i would go to my room, wonder why i did what i did back then, i get it now but i didnt then see i was just tryng to fit in, If you knew me back then , I was angry and nothing could change it ,if i got to dranking, then i would go to thinking, and next thing ya know, i pulled my own plug, and steady sinking I could of really something,but back then i just wanted to be a thug slang drugs running from the cops man to me that was fun , parents wooped my ass but it didnt matter, I was gonna do what i wanted to ,quit school went to juvi, Mama looked at me like a stranger, but deep down she knew my anger, Nothing could change it, go to dranking i go to thinking, i go to slanging, pull my own plug and go to sanking, and my anger well it never changes any situation into a positive, nature I stopped dropped my anchor from my role as the fire boils my nerves, i need to cool off before i melt into going off , this is the only talk i was taught but it ain't daddys fault , i lined myself with chalk cause i caught a hint and kicked my drop off over the cliff if pissed off