Drink With Me

This room getting colder , was looking for my next girl now im looking for closure , downing this bottle , told her if Ima love then I'm not gon love at all fuck one bottle I need two , drink with me , drink with me drunk too much now my head hurts , heart getting crushed so bad , All the time feeling so sad at work I hide the pain , only hits me when it rains, feel like no one notices when something is wrong , lost my bestfriend she was my shoulder to cry on , ain't close with anyone anymore , everything being left at the front door , sitting on this bed just wanting it to feel better but nothing seems to make me happy anymore , I feel happy one day then mad the next then sad and it's just a complete cycle that gets stuck on repeat , telling me to take meds but then I wouldn't feel like myself then either , so tired of playing it cool , telling people I don't worry about things I stay worrying about a lot like probation and who's going to fuck up my life next , telling me take a pill , ease my mind but nothing seems to help This room getting colder , was looking for my next girl now im looking for closure , downing this bottle , told her if Ima love then I'm not gon love at all fuck one bottle I need two , drink with me , drink with me Tired of people underestimating me telling me do I got this or got that well I got thru a very bad childhood didn't I? I got thru the whole case thing didn't I? im stronger than anyone thinks my head spinning round and round , I got drunk bc I don't wanna deal with shit tonight, my thoughts getting kinda full , I know I shouldn't , siblings watching me but don't know what is on my back, I'm always there for everyone else but whos there for me , I take care of them but who takes care of me , I started drinking bc I couldn't handle it anymore , life is becoming a mess , momma got a new boyfriend and I don't know how to feel about that , can't get over her leaving Thanksgiving early for him but she says he's not like the rest momma he's not the only problem your a problem too , putting dick before your own kids , momma I know im grown but sometimes I need you but you don't care so I act like I don't need u and i tell people I try to keep our relationship but how when u do the same shit over and over again, acting perfect not owning up to your mistakes but I'm the problem momma? This room getting colder , was looking for my next girl now im looking for closure , downing this bottle , told her if Ima love then I'm not gon love at all fuck one bottle I need two , drink with me , drink with me I've been thru a lot don't know how to express it to anyone , hearing about kids cutting there wrists hits deep as shit had friends do it and I wanted to do it but never did , tried to kill myself couple times I know how it feels , I know what your thinking but don't kill yourself , go live your life for you , prove everyone who doubted you wrong , ik my music is the reason some of you are still alive but I'm trying to deal with the pressure , when I'm looking at my views and messages I cry bc some of yall really be going thru it and ik yall are stronger than most , I'm not prefect and I never want to be just tired of feeling like i gotta act happy , act like nothing is wrong , why can't I write a happy rap bc most of my life it was sad and dark saddest thing was no one realized it bc I kept it to myself