suffocating

life with out my kids itslike suffocating on oxygen cuz you're lungs refuse to keep on working i have to manually pump blood in my heart it refuses to self sestain guns shots echo the streets lonely screams in the night that no one hears help never arives your left alone to die this existence aint tge same its hard to keep going when everything you are is taking so much pain my hands i help up screaming for someone anyone to answer the call i realized that im alone to suffer thier absence the moments we shared in the city are relived like a old school movie i see your shadows everywhere i look doesn't your mother know that its my beating heart that she took my children i hace confession to make clear ive been stalking you all year standing quietly watching behing the chain linked fence across the street by that one tree it took every last of my strength to holdme back from jumping the fence and run to your rescue i wanted to be there for you when youhad abad day a bad moment a bad dream when you get you first break up instead i stood watching while your mother replace me in what used to be my life she used to be my wife things between us couldn't be repaired the damage we caused each other wastoo deep sinking everyday in jealousy i swallowed my pride and took the bullet by the very same heart that used to keep us together now the distance between uscould notbe measured by distance or time but by the hours i spend away from you i counted to the dreaded three hundred hour but everytime i called she hung up,and everytime i went to visit yawl i was kicked out like a dog you kick and keeps coming back not because the animal instinct was deteriorated or it didn't know but because loyalty respect is the only thing that make it stand trust mewhen i say i keptcoming back because im your dad and that carries responsibility and ever since she replacedme my mind bleeds the insanity its likegravity i keep falling to floor i cant seem to get up on my own two feet my hearts been broken so many times that with the rubble left of the tragic casualty i arrived at crazy headed for insanity i keep looking at traffic looking for you daily but seems your never passing by you must be avoiding to drive anywhere remotely close to where i wassearching for you when i will i find you abel david juju delilah jade im sorry things had to change now its like i live locked up in solitude for eternity why could god just make her be faithful,i wont ever hate you for what youve done to us instead ill just wonder the streets and walk myself to the end of my existence death wont deny me again ill change the way of deaths resistance i can see my own death in the distance as i watched my life sink and fade away ill keep praying ill see you today