Nothin I promise

I’m the daytime, my sun is fading. I count hours down, I’m tired of waiting. Bitches ain’t shit, and dick makes them crazy. It takes a toll with the drugs I’ve takin. I prayed for the man and the lord forgave him. Sick to my stomach, pray for me, “lord save him”. These thoughts in my mind. Take to much time. But I keep goin, tryna keep on my grind. Straight forward no trail in sight. Steppin in darkness and I can’t find the light. Can’t let go, baby hold me tight. Chemically imbalanced and I’m trapped in my mind. They always said “better luck next time”. No matter what I do I can’t do right. Would it be better if I offed myself and died. That thought is scary and makes me wanna cry. But It just be like that sometimes, makes me wanna chase them white lines., but I Wanna make it out without the crime. I wake up and every days a struggle. I make bad choices and I like the trouble. I have to build myself up like a puzzle. One wrong move and my mood just crumbles. Can’t let nobody know, make myself look humble, but underneath I feel like I stumble. They asked me whats wrong, I try to be honest. Just freeze up and say “nothing I promise”.