Too late to look back

I got a secret I been holding onto for too long Tried 2Keep it deep inside me but it won’t stay under the surface, among the memories that hold higher purpose As I dig the hole to burry my mom Not sure where I went wrong when I was young Maybey it was swearing and smoking on anything I could get my hands , Zanni in my phanipack, dc on my ten toes , dropping a mean beat to the tempo once upon a time I was a Nympho , I few regrets tho , but… I met a few girls I should have never let go 11 s not tens few men ever get to know The difference, until it’s to late when I was young growing up never knew what I was supposed to be doing , skipping class forged hall pass , calling friends out so we can make some plans so I went wondering on a path of booze and drugs and being young n dumb No father figure to speak of Grew up in an abusive home Barely had enough to eat, I’d get beat for complaining about mom buying cigs instead of something we could eat. I Never had a sense of where I belonged , I want to go home, but never really known one had a short temper from getting hit bymy moms they say a woman can do no harm, but I seen her arm wrestle some bitch and snap her arm just like it was a wish bone, grew up on a farm Back before everyone carried cell phones, playing with pigs in barns So when it comes to luck i feel stuck but at least I got charm, and enough street smarts to pull any part in a battle of song where the beat separates the weak and the strong, you battled your best but now you know im in a class that you don’t belong. I stand among the giants of Eridu, or i r an Holding ancient wisdom they all ask Me where I got it from, perhaps it was blessed upon me from birth of a sun, that shines brighter than the darkness that surrounds us , as the star light bright as it glistens in the midnight But the hind sight that robbed me of my childhood occasionally keep me from sleeping at night, wondering where I went wrong then I remember partying all night Surrounding my self with people who I pleased that I really didn’t like As if being a people pleaser was my life Then I cut that tendency out like a tumor and removed all the knives Stuck in my back , I’m stuck looking back, forced to react, I need me a scoobie snack Put it in the past , focus on yourself or wind up last, but er on blast, for spitting false facts of portrayed acts , talking smack believe your own lies , none the wise. It’s no surprise Born into a word full of liars with nothing to back it We all got tied to some bad habbits Some get stuck and some stay focused Be your own boss, and they will notice Ignore what they think, fuck what they say. You didn’t alienate me I went on my own I choose the road not you so just stay away Where you belong, the center of your own world Know that it won’t help , the pain never goes away, dulls with that canna bay But as time goes on, the lessons I learned are there to stay. Memory, why won’t you just decay. Altimerz, make these nightmares go away. Ahhy