pains first cuzzin

(talking: its crazy,wish I could grew up faster to be there 4 u mimi u had a heart of gold boi..miss u) I need the best weed strain, u bout to hear me get weak rip maintain, BIG SHOUT 2 SULPHER SPRANGS ,WISH I COULD TELL YA, this not going to take long but this my pain song, bruss better make the beat 20 min long, it was and u thought it wasn't, I'm pain first cuzzin, why the fuk u think I'm so strong, 17 witnesses in the list, as I look at the names my throat clumps up, beyond pissed heart broke, he done switched over with them punks huh, not my main man went out like a bitch... fuck, if I'd a lost trail -then my life was over, remainder of life extorted, damn frank l love this is what u supported, brody truthful i was so scared, I'll never let a another nigga close or no where near, I'm not going to air it out on no song dude, we both know all I did 4 u,I sit alone in a dark room listening to pac at low day of my sentencing, as I stand in that courtroom life seem to be dimming, bottom of the 9th inning, kept my head high had faith strong, looked at mama, she whispered it won't be long we winning.. when the judge entered the courtroom just stared bra,, truthfully I was scared bra, brutally hurting my moms and breaking her heart something I wasn't prepared for wasn't prepared for, mama u always loved and cared for, losing u while incarcerated ive never be repaired from ....... really don't want to be here at times ,as I write these rhymes tears are coming down my eyes, I get it everyone dies, couldn't she stay a Lil longer lord ,I need to know is she with u in the sky, I have a small request, never got tell her bye,, u can bet do this ,make it my last time I come palm's up, I was caged ,when u called mom's up, it's eating me alive, let it go beating me up inside, lord u know I wish I could hit reset, just to spend time with her so i didnt live with regrets, like I'm dying a slow death, hold on it gets worst,,in two years,God flipped my earth, to 15 years in the they gone cage ya, pop passed ,moms 9 months later,, my struggle to much pain endure, lord u know her heart was pure,with a heart of gold, at times I wonder,does she me getting olsince I left Ive had a chip on my shoulder I remember everything u ever bought me, I'll never forget anything u ever taught me,I remember when I was smoking weed and u caught me, when I was hungry the food u brought me, know u upset bout my lil brother, got to crush ya,see him following the road u took, and never shook, Lil bro got an addiction ,ma fool ain't say one word the whole ti.e I was in prison, the days we would just talk for hours I'm missing god I wish u was still living, the world so diffrent, and mama , I'm not feeling it, losing u I'm still dealing with, ,everyone squealing quick, the world on some selfish shit, so I seldom spit, some one please come fast I'm melting quick and it will not quit, she had an addiction and too young for motherhood with me she did all she could, u did great ma always there and understood....wish I could kiss , as the days go by just keep on missing u...