Lift Me Up

#LiftMeUp #Addiction #Depression #MentalIllness #God #unfinished business #stillraw Songs unfinished unfortunately due to a mistake I had no motivation to fix cuz I'm always tired but for yall fellow addict out there, stay strong and keep the faith alive all can be well....if you want it to be. God lift me up/ Please, I'm tired but ain't giving up/ Stay with me I'll do everything I can to give em up/ Drugs ruined Jonas, Realapse needs to give it up/ I saw the lil messages you sending me to hit you up/ I prayed today for the first time since I had given up/ I'm dead inside but physically alive, so God lift me up/ I'm 26 years old and still a boy/ I wish I grew into a better man/ I wish I had a dad that guided me, instead you left / I wish I was resilient like other men, who didnt have a dad as well but made still themselves/ I wish I didn't always feel so lesser than every body, wish that I was mentally wrecked/ I wish I was a better friend to have around/ I wish i knew what not to do back then/ I wish I could go back 10 years to 16 and get off xans/ and the weed, and the ecstasy, and the alcohol/ wish I didnt depend on anything chemically/ I wish i didnt need a substance to abuse just to make a friend/ I wish I didnt isolate for days on end/ No lights Blinds closed door locked just to lay in bed/ I wish I could say I'm someone that is proud of themselves/ I wish I didnt put my mother and my sister and ex thru hell/ I wish I was a better man/ God lift me up/ Please, I'm tired but ain't giving up/ Stay with me I'll do everything I can to give em up/ Drugs ruined Jonas, Realapse needs to give it up/ I saw the lil messages you sending me to hit you up/ I prayed today for the first time since I had given up/ I'm dead inside but still alive so God lift me up/ I woke up today so God I owe my thanks/ I'm grateful for a healthy and supportive family/ Im grateful I was born with no abnormalities/ I'm grateful that for people the believe, when I'm doubting me/ I'm grateful I have a place to stay, a car to drive, things I never thought id have when was strung out with not a penny to my name/ I'm thankful to Steddy Liife for trying to explain faith to me... that God is something strong that you'll never see, physically/ I'm grateful I ain't dead yet. which I question but shouldn't i know you have a somethin planned and I just hope I can execute that and make you proud of me/ I'm thankful for every single choice you put in front of me/ i chose wrongly most the time, but that experience allowed me to give people guidance that I never recieved/ I'm grateful I managed make it 2 and half years in sobriety/ I'm grateful we connected when I rejected you for years/ second chances, God you've given me so many/ Please don't let the last time I called be the last one,/ God I'm trippin, I wanna make long enough to see the sun/ uppers and downers got my heart confused as fuck/ my skins cold and clammy my hands are sweaty wishing I was just a kid enjoying moms spaghetti/