Demo(backNforth)

Ive been throughout hell all of my life it seems it's neverending when will there be an end cuz I've never had any fear come near my eyes I've seen it all and I despise when I always think about a boi growing up with a father always angry as if he has never been Happy himself I guess thats what I deserved for being born from that love and love I can say turned into hate,but it wasn't where my fate would come to an end??? €veryday going back and forth through hell been there many times just ask my parents... it's just neverending even after every war I went through always cameback crying wondering when my day would come and even ever after I still wonder cuz I'm still here??? I'm still breathing tormented even by others that are like demons and ex's that are worser than any of my FOE'S oops I guess there it goes that KARMA she's coming back HELL REALLY SUCKS!!! doesn't it??? I HATE IT I'D RATHER GO STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN,BUT IVE DONE THINGS I WILL NEVER BE ASHAMED ABOUT I KILLED WHEN ALL I WAS DOING WAS DOING MY JOB FOR THE COUNTRY I WAS BORN in WHO GAVE ME THAT RIGHT ONLY GOD SO why is HELL IS FOR ME??? Do I really deserve this after everything I've done should I repent for serving the country that I love should I continue killing those that have not or never meant me any harm towards me so what is this back and forth shit for the question itself raises HELL