the one thing you hate wish you could erase is when I'm angry then I yell back "you just don't understand me!" screaming "im a good man!" but lately I'm finding out  I really am angry and truth be told im just trying really hard not to hate me so I block it out cant ever let you find out what my black heart is all about it makes me even more mad I'm too ashamed to say I'm sad  i know you hate my lies disguised for all the ugly pain inside disassociate so I ad libtelling sad fibs but baby this boy behind the mask is just afraid to live You talk in tik tok and memes I don't know what they even mean but you make me feel like everything's alright you're worth the fight to say I'm yours every day and every night in this darkness you're my only light Craving for attention is a lesson I fail to grasp everything I do I it's not for me its always for someone else it feels like we're talking 2 different languages but the strange thing is we translate the same anguish  you're the yin to my yang you're my everything without you in my life I'm so bitter fighting with my strife I can't contain it this anger's really at a world so cold but when I look at you my poker face melts yeah all my cards fold I know I ramble on like a mad scientist climbing ladders that don't  exist  a Jack of all trades but im faded trying to make a life that's better for the 2 of us but I feel like I'm never good enough you grab my hand and tell me I'm amazinng but I push away keeping my heart at bay.... I hate that I'm so rough...but I'm still learning how to love myself Better days betters I promise that I'm changing to a better person Better days better days I'm rearranging  into a better version Better days better days so don't give me up I'm only one phase away from better days Im obsessing getting lost in all my crazy passions  I self Sabatoge like it's never going out of fashion..you'll always be my biggest fan .....when I'm feeling weak you still choose to see me  as the worlds tallest strongest man no matter how many sets in the gym I do when I'm next to you my smile will always my biggest flex I get so angry when I try to  help myself signing up to seea therapist justtosee im on a long waiting list to let a stranger in a room watch me lick my wounds so I self medicate feeling so irate now we spiral into heated big debates but  you see right through the demons locked behind my gate You just want me to hold you but I got  a damaged brain with a screw loose guesa that's from childhood abuse I know you're touch starved so am I we have the same scar.. in the past open arms didn't exist just raised fists that left me  feeling so torn in my field of black roses you cut yourself with the same thorns Im sorry I make you cry and mourn.... It's a habit I'm trying to unlearn  Better days betters I promise that I'm changing to a better person Better days better days I'm rearranging  into a better version Better days better days so don't give me up I'm only one phase away from better days I know I struggle with addiction, but it's really just the symptom of my brain.    displacing  all.my damn pain. comatosed butyou're the only high I truly love most of all picking me back up on this pedestal every time I fall from crawling up this wall Sometimes im scared ill turn into my dad.   a disconnected man all alone.    no family to call my own but your eyes are the keys to my home sweet home I know I say I hate it when you're so sassy but it doesn't come close to my head that's so damn messy how can you stand me when I take us down this bumpy ride I know I tend to overnalyze so this time.   I'll just  simplify.     I promise I'll always love you  til the day I die