woke up today in a cold sweat shaking my mind was racing and my heart was aching thinking about the old days i think my memories fading. not too many loved ones visit me these days because of all the past mistakes that ive made even tho ive changed and became somebody else im still here alone its just me and myself somethings tellin me to keep me to keep my heart on a shelf part of me contemplating doing harm to myself its an internal battle that i face every day feels like my heart is an iceberg n its breaking away lord please take me away cant take it one more day fall to my knees to pray but what do i say that i dont like the life hes chosen and i want another i raise my kids alone cuz they done lost their mother i just cover up the pain n try to move on it wont be too long till i tie the noose on u turn the news on and u see a picture of me n it says im deceased in the scripture we read it says suicide is equal to murder but if i cant go on any further am i getting farther away sometimes its harder to stay than it is to just walk astray