There some shit I gotta let go man because no matter how fucking hard I try its killing me slowly. so here goes... in a state of Self abandonment how can I handle it when I life hand me shit stressful lessons be hard to manage kid shit you think is real be leaving bandages wounds left wide open like a casket dude now I'm crashing too as I see the street rushing through closer and closer falling to my doom my heart is entombed afraid to be exposed to the truth constantly my ass was misused no excuse for the abuse like a drill I getting screwed tossed in the box outta use till the next time you gotta job t do then ya wanna let me loose you must really got me confused because I'm the one that tellin you it's cool I'm drowning, you dont care I'm drowning, in my fear so stuck in a rut, I feel impaired Self Doubting this cause I'm fucking scared to let you in to let you in in a state of Self hatred Not like ya basic but cause dont wanna face shit that I'm dealing with the feelings dead because if I let you in you will despise me then so walls will never fall I'm standing right in this fight and shit No liking it but still gonna climb to the top the heights n shit. some y'all might get it some y'all might shift it to a suicide threat but if you get what i spit I'm still shining no regrets. I hate the skin I walk in I hate the fact in persistent I hate that I love so deeply that I still fucking miss ya even though you ain't hearing me through the speaker and you probably out there creeping nobody ever loved me deeper thought you was a keeper I must been asleep cuh I hate that I care so much Take me to the reaper I'm drowning, you dont care I'm drowning, in my fear so stuck in a rut, I feel impaired Self Doubting this cause I'm fucking scared to let you in to let you in I doubt my own potential suffer with these damn trust issues Wanna cheat I ain't gonna let you tears falling with no tissues Not seeing the bigger picture Take ten lines just to forget you drowning in the deep a little Toss back a bottle till its hit too. I dont give a shit dude ya fucking led me on but it's cool I'll pop these percs till the thoughts split too. leave me screaming in the night leave me screaming in the night Trapped in my fucking head I don't wanna see the light. my past makes me wanna die thing is I'm not that fucking guy0 the fatal mistake now wanna commit suicide inside everytime its tossed in my sight just wanna cry murdered inside. self doubting this cause I'm fucking scared to let you in to let you in