im like a cig

I feel like a failure, Probably because I havnt found success and im losing motivation Burning out and becoming complacent to the challenges im facing Ive been waiting but im running out of patience Reality constantly falls short of my expectations, Im pretty sure im a failure, Dissapointed with myself and my behavior Lately all I do is chase the paper, And thats not my definition of success, FUCK THE MONEY I need a savior I need to not feeling like im running out of time, i want memories I can savor I want to make friends not enemies , i want to love my neighbors But they seem to all be traitors snakes and haters I want to be braver and not waver Im sick of being a goddamn waitor as I wait on my side hustle and passions to take off later Im becoming lazy and Im growing bitter to labor Laying in my bed drinking alcohol on nights that I used to reserve for a coffee maker Im becoming a consumer but I want to be a creator Im becoming a loser , like i have tapered Im starting to want to use her when I used to want to date her I cant trust people and have grown bitter Constant rejection and beint cheated on will do that, Struggling with depression and continuous defeat is a shitt habitat And it feels like itll just repeat until its all over I try to learn from lessons, and comlplete what i began, but It feels like already given up, full disclosure, The pressure and heat gets turned up and I grow colder, The weight i put on my shoulders feels like boulders, and its going to see me crumble into the dirt, next to the clover Broken and unable pickmyself up I want to relight the fite in my soul But im burning out, time, rejection, and failure has taken its toll All i see is glasses half full, and they keep getting drained I just want to feel whole, but i feel full of holes, And I dont know how to fill them, I dont know if I can Im looking to fill the void with another soul, but Im not sure thats possible Sometimes i wish i never went down the rabbit holes ive explored The consequences have broken me to my core My love life only has me find whores, and they always hurt me, The good ones curb me and ignore me My passions dont result in anything, Even when i give them my all, I dont know what im lacking, but ive hit a wall im on the edge and I think im going to fall