12 Plays
•31 Aug 2020
I remember the day my dad was pronounced dead, I ain't wanna believe it, sobbing and shaking my head, screaming to myself 'cause I see where my denial has led, led to me eating this lead, lie in my bed, sheets covered in red, chopping down my family tree, 'cause there's no family once you take yourself out and leave me, make it a family gram, 'cause I need something after mom lost the family man, we were family man, why did god have to take you? Man I remember the days I used to fucking hate you, and I have to say I'm sorry but we both know I hate to, I know you can't control what god picks to do, but I can still picture you, I dream up a white picket fence, outside playing ball, but then I wake up to this nightmare and I lose it all, lost my imagination, and this pain isn't imaginary, imagine bleeding out your nose when things get too fucking scary, scared from the stress, man I'm so depressed, and they say I look like shit 'cause I stopped caring how I dressed, stopped caring to impress, stopped being fake happy 'cause that just makes my mental state a bigger mess, and I can't get clean, I'm an addict to this shit, shit I thought this would be easy, shit I thought I'd have a fun time but I'm leaving this feeling queasy, and I know it's cheesy, but I love you dad, you're gone but spiritually still here, remember what you said to me and how much you hold me dear, I'll link my song in the description, shows who my father is and how much I fucking miss him. The other day I got depressed again so I blasted my song on the phone, that way I didn't feel so alone, but now my heart is dead and cold, my pain is 10 fold, and I ain't fucking bold, I'd give my soul for you dad, 'cause I can be sold, I'm a slave to my addiction, see if I said life was much better that'd be a contradiction, because there's all this self harm I'm inflictin', and I'm an agent of chaos and I'm here to complete my mission.
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This is the link to the song my father made for me before he passed. https://youtu.be/nGbMJFVWq14
I remember the day my dad was pronounced dead, I ain't wanna believe it, sobbing and shaking my head, screaming to myself 'cause I see where my denial has led, led to me eating this lead, lie in my bed, sheets covered in red, chopping down my family tree, 'cause there's no family once you take yourself out and leave me, make it a family gram, 'cause I need something after mom lost the family man, we were family man, why did god have to take you? Man I remember the days I used to fucking hate you, and I have to say I'm sorry but we both know I hate to, I know you can't control what god picks to do, but I can still picture you, I dream up a white picket fence, outside playing ball, but then I wake up to this nightmare and I lose it all, lost my imagination, and this pain isn't imaginary, imagine bleeding out your nose when things get too fucking scary, scared from the stress, man I'm so depressed, and they say I look like shit 'cause I stopped caring how I dressed, stopped caring to impress, stopped being fake happy 'cause that just makes my mental state a bigger mess, and I can't get clean, I'm an addict to this shit, shit I thought this would be easy, shit I thought I'd have a fun time but I'm leaving this feeling queasy, and I know it's cheesy, but I love you dad, you're gone but spiritually still here, remember what you said to me and how much you hold me dear, I'll link my song in the description, shows who my father is and how much I fucking miss him. The other day I got depressed again so I blasted my song on the phone, that way I didn't feel so alone, but now my heart is dead and cold, my pain is 10 fold, and I ain't fucking bold, I'd give my soul for you dad, 'cause I can be sold, I'm a slave to my addiction, see if I said life was much better that'd be a contradiction, because there's all this self harm I'm inflictin', and I'm an agent of chaos and I'm here to complete my mission.
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