High Off Dark thoughts

isn't it sad? how Im laying alone, been trying to find a home for a while now, pathetically trying to gain empathy for the things ive done, I did it for her. I did it for him. I keep making up excuses that will eventually kill me Im hopeless, and I know this, but I still try to fight, in the middle of the night, Im screaming. im dying I wanna get high off dark thoughts maybe that's not enough. nothing about me is worth redeeming I don't want to cry, I hope Im dreaming, that I'll wake up in a bed a roof over my head than I haven't killed people yet, that I'll have a sound mind but same head high high off dark thought high high off dark dark thoughts