highs and lows

My mind is a tug o' war Back and forth on what should I do There's thoughts that I wanna pour But I have no one to pour 'em to I reach out to get ignored I feel depressed and I blame you All this pain that I endured Left me broken and split in two Swear I only have two modes All times highs and all time lows I can't get of grip of myself, so I sit and I yell I'm trying not to lose hope I lost everyone I had close No wonder why I feel alone Sometimes I wanna grab rope Stick my neck in a noose, dangle and let my ass choke I'm sick of love, being the reason I hurt I'm sick of love, being the reason I hurt I'm sick of giving my heart, I'm sick of playing my part Just for you to let down when I put you first Fuck you, I mean literally fuck you Girl, I don't even need you I'm on the rise and I wouldn't wanna be you If I got one wish I wish I didn't see you My, depressants are pressing, it's taking control of me I'm losin' myself and I can't get a hold of me I see my reflection and don't even know it's me I feel alone and they don't even notice me But how I can I blame em, when I'm outta line? One minute I'm sad, and the next I am fine There's so much inconsistency in my mind Just, know that I'm trying I don't know, where to go, high and lows It's got me feeling lost again (hoo-hoo) I don't know, where to go, high and lows It's (got me thinking it's the end) Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe, breathe Maybe I just need to breathe, breathe Broken, empty Pain, envy Love, deadly Lust, tempting I just wanna feel something right now Anything, anything I'd give my all to smile right now Everything, everything I'm so sick of crying, I just wanna die Thoughts of suicide, just know I lost hope Say I victimize, give me weak advice Like I'm lying just to get likes on my post Say it's in my mind, say I never tried Like you know me, sorry you really don't Why'd I even try to tell you my side When deep In your eyes, I'm just a big joke? Tryna live lately feels like a chore A fight in my mind since my mind is at war