I miss my heartbeat

you caused me pain when we were dating I always felt insecure felt like I was a visitor I thought I would sleep n wake up to see that you're already taken I do not hat u I still love u but I gotta push you away from me so I don't hurt you But the more I push the more I cause you pain I tried my best but I had to block you I contain it then I unblocked you I tried to leave you but that would be brutal I do not hate you I can't deceive you