over with

feel like my life is just so fucked up i fucking hate it so i resort to alcohol and then to drugs. Fuck it all it numbs the pain away i just feel the needle now, drugs rupturing my veins. I go insane. Everything to lose and nothing to gain this post traumatic stress disorder got my mind playing all sorts of games. Please, if youre near me try to refrain . from saying something crazy cause im already insane. Every day im stressin and everything in life seems to be a lesson. Got no hope for myself, so im Feeling worthless, the shit i let myself go through, maybe thats why i have no confidence. So much shit i been through i cant stand the word Sober, cant trust anyone these days, im better off a loner. Im about to say fuck my life and get it over with put the gun to my head ., just pull the trigger bitch. Or even take my knife push it through my heart just a little bit. I wanna see the colors fade nd drown in my corrupted blood my mind is intoxicated with the worst kind of fucking love. Been raised around people that are controlling and manipulative always pushing buttons sending everyone over the edge