#lacking

Thinking about my past , the future comes fast , nothing is to last, Caught up in the old , pages fold , there is a story told , Wishing I could go back and fix the wrong But I stay at home stuck to the bong Hoping that tommorow brings me another hit But knowing I dont need this shit I'm holding onto resentment Never asked for help , I'm spinning The pain is stinging , while I'm singing Hold onto what u have son I always face it I.never run Respect is out the window Die and leave a widow You will never know The pain some go through But ima stay true Catch a break what is that Best friend is a rat Walked over like a mat Sone being the nice guy All yall can fucking die All u do is lie Yall never try What happened to being loyal But u just want the spoil Angry so I boil U walk around like your royal I always protect like a gargoyle Hey yo , listen I base all my hate of your shitty traits, I hide my hurt and act like I'm great But I can go right back to that single date , losing my mind I'm juggling a day ar a time, find me holding my head under water doing a rhyme they say I'm no father , but how can I move forward, t they ask.me what's wrong but I have a.list , my hands turns to fists, Lost with out you , half it aighnt true what do I do I scream out somtimes hoping ud answer back , I had no real family u filled that hole I lack , but these problems throw me off track , and that's a fact , I used to run as a pack, now I'm a lone wolf , i have no home , i wander wishing i had the courage to over come , dumb to u but smart tonsome I'm done with the fun the parts the drugs , the drinks the thugs , the pussy the plugs , basic life and family is what I want , but my feeling are what taunt , then in my sorrows they haunt , please understand me my son , me and your mother are done , now I whiskey sip and stare at a gun , I feel like I have to run , hoping that this dont last , stuck in the future thinking of the past , ima throw up the mast , this is just temporary but now years go by it's scary, used to have the love I deserved but then it all curved, whiskey make me swerve I'm aware of my problems but I am not an understanding guy , but I'm saying bye , I stay straight and dont lie , the only thing I see clearly is my son , the thing I held onto as hard as this gun , I just want to see the brighter of the days But the sunshine never stays , I'm getting high while my son plays , I'm missing days , I'm just wiping trays , feeling like these strays , I hate the thought of not being there to protect you and slavery hair , but this drug plays and dares I am weak as the drug stares, Help is all I needed but u let me rot Now I'm deep in a dark spot I'm walking the streets at night thinking But this feeling of hurt is just sinking I have been in my own for a long time , Looking for love I'll never find Ima ghost I've been lost My sons love is what my actions cost I hurt I weep, it cut deep this dust u cant sweep