depressed

it's hard waking up like this everyday waking up whit nothing but a bunch of pain .suicide is stupid?you wanna know what is stupid?hurting someone so much emotionally that they think suicide is the only answer I'm holding on why is everything so heavy?I'm holding on so much more than I can carry I keep dragging around what's bringing me down I try to let it go but it just comes back to me I dont understand why depression exists!maybe I'm a fuckin waste filling up the empty space I got betrayed ,I dont feel much pain got a knife in my back and a bullet in my brain!I'm clinically insane!