Constant thoughts of just killing myself People talk but i aint feeling their help Cause how can they be real, if i cant be real to myself Im just playing the cards i was dealed when they was delt And I kneeled and i knelt, plead to god to heal and to help He took the wheel and concealed me in hell, where im held till i melt And these feelings are real, i felt, overwhelmed since i fell Out of his grace At 13, tried to check out of this place Now in my 30s, I still feel out of place Put the 40 to my head and head to outter space Cause i feel alone in a crowded place Tears of a clown, im not ok No more fear to be found, i check out today