WHO AM I
All I want to do is bring change I know that there is something wrong with my brain I think sometimes it causes people to go insane I'm just sick and tired of seeing people in pain I talk to them like I'm their therapist But now I realize that I'm just an embarrassment I call out their pain and say bring it all in but the truth is, I'm the one holding on by pins Put a thumbtack through my back It'll break, my hurt stacks and stabs Chucky making a comeback Relax, they tell me don't look back at the past But it's hard when your always put last They tell me I'm the last thing on their minds I leave a mark on them but I don't know if it's the good kind Just tell me if I'm annoying and a waste of your time I can't express how I'm feeling so I write them in these lines Then say I'm fine but it's all a lie People tell me I'm smart but it's hard when your hiding in the dark to make a spark and light a match to your past don't let it last even if you feel like you are the last better to be broken then to put on a cast Let it out, don't let the world know you have doubts, shout it out loud, declare your hate and pain before time runs out, run it down and make sure it doesn't come back but it's kinda hard when you feel like the outcast Is it bad that sometimes I wish I was dead Sometimes it feels like suicide is my best friend I put God on the back burner but it hurts him Which hurts me, I'm not deserving of the love he gives Which is why I always run away from him Then it feel bad for running because of sin So I turn around and the cycle starts again I can't heal even with the world's medicine But the truth is, I just want it all to end Why is it my friends always have to have pain And if they don't then usually then they are fake Faker than the makeup they wear to cover up their shame It's hard to be a Christian with all this pain I know God's calling me and I try to pick up my phone But trying ain't enough to satisfy my soul Some people told me just to let it go But the truth is, I'm just afraid to be alone I can't see my friends but I don't know I'm just ashamed to let my face show in the light where I'm exposed yet I hate the cold, I hate the hate that is the hate that leads me home Sometimes I think it's comforting when I bleed Like seeing the thing after the hurt, finally leave But the love God gives me remind me to be But it's hard to love when I'm the one that hates me Embracing, the change cause that's all I know Everything I'd temporary so if it have it then I might as well let it go Maybe that's why I don't accept any gifts Maybe that's why sometimes it think friendship is just a myth Take a shot and it'll hit my heart Then the lights will go dark I'm soft yet hard on the outside, exposed on the inside, expo markers love to write and make marks just like the people in my life, thank you for your time Because it goes so fast, consider everything my past Don't know God's plans for me or how long I will last I am trash, look like a car that crashed then thrown down the highway in a flashback, got lashed back into reality Formality is the way to be Reality seems like it defines me I try to not think about the place I came Cause when we get a house will all be the same Reign is weak and my brain is untamed It's hard to know who you are when your heart is full of pain
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All I want to do is bring change I know that there is something wrong with my brain I think sometimes it causes people to go insane I'm just sick and tired of seeing people in pain I talk to them like I'm their therapist But now I realize that I'm just an embarrassment I call out their pain and say bring it all in but the truth is, I'm the one holding on by pins Put a thumbtack through my back It'll break, my hurt stacks and stabs Chucky making a comeback Relax, they tell me don't look back at the past But it's hard when your always put last They tell me I'm the last thing on their minds I leave a mark on them but I don't know if it's the good kind Just tell me if I'm annoying and a waste of your time I can't express how I'm feeling so I write them in these lines Then say I'm fine but it's all a lie People tell me I'm smart but it's hard when your hiding in the dark to make a spark and light a match to your past don't let it last even if you feel like you are the last better to be broken then to put on a cast Let it out, don't let the world know you have doubts, shout it out loud, declare your hate and pain before time runs out, run it down and make sure it doesn't come back but it's kinda hard when you feel like the outcast Is it bad that sometimes I wish I was dead Sometimes it feels like suicide is my best friend I put God on the back burner but it hurts him Which hurts me, I'm not deserving of the love he gives Which is why I always run away from him Then it feel bad for running because of sin So I turn around and the cycle starts again I can't heal even with the world's medicine But the truth is, I just want it all to end Why is it my friends always have to have pain And if they don't then usually then they are fake Faker than the makeup they wear to cover up their shame It's hard to be a Christian with all this pain I know God's calling me and I try to pick up my phone But trying ain't enough to satisfy my soul Some people told me just to let it go But the truth is, I'm just afraid to be alone I can't see my friends but I don't know I'm just ashamed to let my face show in the light where I'm exposed yet I hate the cold, I hate the hate that is the hate that leads me home Sometimes I think it's comforting when I bleed Like seeing the thing after the hurt, finally leave But the love God gives me remind me to be But it's hard to love when I'm the one that hates me Embracing, the change cause that's all I know Everything I'd temporary so if it have it then I might as well let it go Maybe that's why I don't accept any gifts Maybe that's why sometimes it think friendship is just a myth Take a shot and it'll hit my heart Then the lights will go dark I'm soft yet hard on the outside, exposed on the inside, expo markers love to write and make marks just like the people in my life, thank you for your time Because it goes so fast, consider everything my past Don't know God's plans for me or how long I will last I am trash, look like a car that crashed then thrown down the highway in a flashback, got lashed back into reality Formality is the way to be Reality seems like it defines me I try to not think about the place I came Cause when we get a house will all be the same Reign is weak and my brain is untamed It's hard to know who you are when your heart is full of pain
@McSeb_Sauce thanks man, I appreciate the feedback
too many words for the flow you are attempting. getting better though