2 FLAMES

KAOS – TWO FLAMES [Intro – spoken over distant piano] Fifteen years... People say time heals everything. That's bullshit. Some wounds don't heal. You just learn how to live while they're bleeding. Blaize... Koko... This is for both of you. Same day, two sons, but I left with one, So tell me how the fuck am I meant to outrun A memory carved where a scar can't show? Fifteen years later, still can't let go. Blaize getting older, I'm watching with pride, While imagining Koko still stood by his side. Same blood, same birthday, two names in my soul, One life I can witness, one life I don't know. And that fucks with my head when the birthday comes, 'Cause I'm wrapping up presents while feeling numb. Gotta smile for my boy, he deserves that day, While a voice in my chest keeps screaming your name. Would you look like your brother? Would you sound like me? Would you both be a nightmare at seventeen? Would you fight over clothes, then defend each other? Two teenage boys driving mad their father? I create these moments that we never had, Little fucking movies in the mind of a dad. And the hardest truth that I've learned in this life Is you can love someone forever even if they died TWO FLAMES BURNING ON YOUR BIRTHDAY CAKE, ONE FOR THE LIFE I SEE, ONE I COULDN'T SAVE. BLAIZE, I'M SO PROUD OF THE MAN YOU'LL BECOME, KOKO, I'M STILL YOUR DAD, YOU'RE STILL MY SON. AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW MANY YEARS GO BY, I'LL STILL SAY YOUR NAME 'TIL THE DAY THAT I DIE. FIFTEEN YEARS LATER, THIS PAIN STAYS TRUE... SO I'LL LIGHT TWO FLAMES... ONE FOR EACH OF YOU. l I wonder if there's somewhere you can see us from, If you know that your dad never fucking moved on. Not moved on from life, I've been fighting through, I mean there's always been a piece reserved for you. Every milestone Blaize reaches makes me proud as hell, But there's another side of that I rarely tell. When I watch him grow taller, watch his face start to change, I wonder if yours would've looked the same. That's grief. It's love with nowhere to land, Reaching through the darkness trying to find your hand. It's counting every year that you should've been here, While everybody else thinks the date disappeared. Nah. I KNOW THE DATE. I know exactly what it means. Two babies in my future turned to one in my dreams. One brother kept growing, one frozen in time, But don't ever fucking tell me that he wasn't mine. Koko was my baby. Koko is my son. And death doesn't change that for anyone. So when Blaize blows the candles and the whole room cheers, If you catch me looking distant through a couple of tears... I'm not broken. I'm standing between the greatest kind of happiness and the worst thing I've seen. Trying to hold both truths without falling apart... One son's in my arms. Both sons are in my heart. --- [Final Hook – full power] TWO FLAMES BURNING ON YOUR BIRTHDAY CAKE, ONE FOR THE LIFE I SEE, ONE THEY COULDN'T SAVE. BLAIZE, I'M SO PROUD OF THE MAN YOU'LL BECOME, KOKO, I'M STILL YOUR DAD, YOU'RE STILL MY SON. AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW MANY YEARS GO BY, I'LL CARRY YOUR NAME 'TIL THE DAY THAT I DIE. THE WORLD GOT ONE BROTHER... BUT I STILL GOT TWO. SO EVERY YEAR, KOKO... I'LL LIGHT ONE FOR YOU. --- [Outro – piano only, spoken] Blaize... Watching you grow up has been one of the greatest privileges of my life. And Koko... Missing you has been one of the hardest. Two brothers. Two sons. One birthday. Fifteen years... And two flames. Always. Happy birthday, boys. Love you both. Dad.