Up (Am I ever enough?)

Keep giving up The pain is never enough To make me call deaths bluff I keep away in a drift I want everything to be perfect Really think I don't deserve it So many days I've been up Still I'm messing up Oh, am I even alive? No fame so you can't look me up All my old friends are looking sus Drown my thoughts with cannabis Chemicals in my veins What am I but drugs? Quit the drugs so I need some drugs, uh Just to cope I inject I jest because those drugs I reject How did I get here? Probably neglect Throw in some jabs take a life I'm war scorn I can't take this strife Shoot you up I don't need a knife No this ain't no nerf I hope I broke a nerve If they hate I just swerve Hell, all they do is hate, burning the earth Really it's absurd I can't find the right word I can't relate it's like I'm in a different world Sabotage is my favorite word Gave my heart to this girl Now I don't feel the same, oh no Broke my own heart by caring too much Filled with sorrow and reminders That I wasn't enough Am I ever enough? I just want real substance All I see around me is injustice It's not so white and black Black and white it's not alright Give into society and segregate All I rep is the pain, all I rep is grey Keep giving up The pain is never enough To make me call deaths bluff I keep away in a drift I want everything to be perfect Really think I don't deserve it So many days I've been up Still I'm messing up Oh, am I even alive? No fame so you can't look me up All my old friends are looking sus Drown my thoughts with cannabis Chemicals in my veins What am I but drugs? Quit the drugs so I need some drugs, uh Just to cope I inject I jest because those drugs I reject How did I get here? Probably neglect Throw in some jabs take a life I'm war scorn I can't take this strife