type shit

there is something in me mixed with my DNA runs through my blood like a flood it won't go away the decay convey the price i pay to play games with the devil been led astray tried to pray but they stay in my way i refuse to dwell on things like that excuse the truth ignore the facts i fight like hell just to distract night as well give up the act i have no purpose feel like I'm worthless always nervous can't scratch the surface wasted my youth the proof a useless adult hated my roots disputes if i had a shot or was i doomed from the get go cursed for the worst and groomed not to let go never been blessed always had less i guess i just tuned into the echo of what might have been if i tried again strived and thrived in the light my friend eyes wide and defied my own decided end changed course with force and maybe i could win but i put no value into fairy tales no hero in my life to come save me i sitting in darkness behind the veil hoping it will all be over maybe it'll be quick hope i won't feel shit let it go black go dark and that's it death comes for us all real shit but i get a glimmer of hope loosen the rope try to invoke a different view another scope am i woke?