sometimes I wonder

sometimes I wonder if I was really meant to be born here sometimes I wonder will I ever be able to confront fear sometimes I wonder will I ever be able to cry tears sometimes I wonder why in the fuck I was even brought here so many tears over so many years I persevered even though my life is a little weird but I dont care I let my pain into the air will I ever be worth a damn ? I dont know but it's hard to let my emotions show I never want control but i guarantee you wont see me hold on for long i can't stand it oh got dammit i cant explain it wtf is going on with this planet I dont know but I'm poppin on maybe I should just get a shot of fentanyl maybe I'll die and be left alone it's crazy how my life has been so hazy I'm sorry if I caved in maybe I slit my wrists at a days inn or hang myself with a belt in a basement I'm lost in a maze to my amazement so many days went by why ? why do I wish I wanna die ? too many phases on my phrases its contagious I'm outrageous life has way too many parts and way too many stages but I've paid my wages fuck. what the hell is going on I dont know what see me off in the cut idgaf no mo I think I'm giving up sometimes I wonder if I was really meant to be born here sometimes I wonder will I ever be able to confront fear sometimes I wonder will I ever be able to cry tears sometimes I wonder why in the fuck I was even brought here time after time I always wondered why why me ? I can't see another 10 years for me it really dont matter to me whether you love me or whether you didnt it's not your fault bc I was already built with all these afflictions sorry I wasn't too strong but it seemed like I never belonged on and on time drags on but why oh why ? do I waste my little bit of time by always getting high on those nickels and dimes I cant deny it feels like I'm too damn young to die but right now I comply I sigh bc I know it ain't right but I cant lie fuck this life it's never been my type I dont see the hype maybe one day I can just divide and ride up to the sky sometimes I wonder if I was really meant to be born here sometimes I wonder will I ever be able to confront fear sometimes I wonder will I ever be able to cry tears sometimes I wonder why the fuck I was even brought here