susicide

This song is for my mom Sandra if you can hear me I pray you found peace I know life wasn’t easy for you and they made you think you were crazy taking like 12 pills a day raising 8 kids 3 bedroom 1 bathroom fighting all the time i know you did your best and we gave you hell dad wasn’t around couldn’t have been easy all you wanted was love so you turned to drugs becuase it numbed all the pain I know you didn’t really wanna die but to stop the pain stop the voices driving you insane guilt and shame kept you in the past made me sad when you passed some nights I don’t know how I got thru I’d like to think you were by my side guiding me out to the light protecting me as I sleep I wish I could give you a hug tell you I’m sorry for blaming it all on you and I me and god had a conversation the other day he showed me a different perspective of you see it’s easy to remember the bad but not the good and if I could go back in time maybe I could’ve saved you it haunts me to think you felt unloved and that your dreams never came true I wonder what you wanted to do a rose they picked your pedals one by one everyone thought you were crazy but that’s a lie I know you were attacked I hated watching the light drain from your eyes