Frustrated and alone tired of feeling like no place is home god help me spit these verse s on my phone got me in head pi

Frustrated and alone tired of feeling like no place is home god help me spit these verse s on my phone got me in head picturing a microphone always alone late at night you tell me to create my life and wait patient I pray to you I know I’m different you see it in the way I move most play checkers I play chest moving in silence in best most people are fake and I see the real you got you forgetting when I walk in rooms silence all around I hear god calling me telling me to not let them bring me down sometimes it’s hard to pray cried for years and felt unsafe no reply I stopped looking to the sky but hope hard to kill part of me feels like is this my life I know sounds depressing but maybe addicted to the pain it’s all I knew so being peaceful feels brand new maybe I’m numb or just care looking for the spark in me becuase o feel like it’s no longer there I’m a diamond and trauma made me grow shining beautifully and maybe I just couldn’t see becuase they’ve never seen a beauty like me one of kind pure heart and intentions too this is why god says don’t judge me when I silent I swear I hear his call broken wings so I fall wounded warrior I pray Intution says there be better days been tested so much I feel nothing at all am I crazy to believe that you hear me ? Show me the way I sit and mediate long pauses inbetween my thoughts guide me to a place where I’m free the stillest parts of me maybe I’m learning who I am and not who I was a character I created to belong in a cold world