Eternally Confined

I exist against my own will I don’t want to live, yet I don’t want to die I know what life is, it’s encapsulated in time Our experiences are conserved eternally, it happens once eternally, not repeating, not redoing, but constantly happening for the first time referentially. Your past is not happening now as your present, but your past happened eternally as you always were in your future. The small asymmetric degrees of freedom, allow that space and distance, but the unified structure of the universe, means that the Big Bang and heat death are ends of the same closure, everything contained within it are maintained and consistent. The universe is all one, recursive referential substance of existence The perception of living is apart of this system Eternally written, time imbedded stitches Moments Intertwined presence with the global image The Persistence of seconds inside of a reference Locally free cuz it is asymmetric it’s totally contained inside the manifold’s fabric IM GOING INSANE IN THE DARKNESS OF MADNESS DYING IN VAIN IN WAYS THAT ARE TRAGIC FEELING THE PAIN AND THERE’S NO REWINDING MOMENTS MAINTAINED ITS CONSTANTLY HAPPENING ALL OF THESE THOUGHTS HAVE BEEN WAY TOO DAMAGING holy shit TO MY DAMN BRAIN I DONT EVEN FUCKING WANT TO LIVE BUT IM NEVER AND ALSO ALWAYS AM DYING, IT NEVER ENDS The unified universe globally is closed, experience is subjective It never ends, it’s just always the first time inside of our heads We aren’t truly alive nor are we ever truly dead We are a continuum where our presence is globally kept The fucking Universe remembers our each and every breath The pain has never left, There is no next Life isn’t a test It’s all messed Up and wrecked This makes me so existentially confined, I can’t truly die cuz I’ve been alive at some point in time, a time capsule of my mind Maintained by the unified dynamics of life and spacetime and existence, really it’s a prison we inside, that we cant escape no matter how hard we ever try, I just want to leap out of my body and fly high up in the sky, like whyy can’t I truly fucking die Like why why, why can’t I die I feel eternally confined in life There’s no turning back, we can’t save the past That makes me so mad, all those kids eternally trapped, it’s so fucking sad yet it’s so goddamn vast, fallen into painful paths, when you pray to god the damn devil laughs Are you telling me that was all gods plan Fuck that, that shit is apathetic trash Stop ignoring that life is bad Just cuz of the good that you may have Have you seen a life be ripped in half And have their hearts smashed There’s no chance a loving god ever allowed that That shit don’t add up, just look at the math Look at life Look at the world Look at history It’s all unified, it is all you, it’s your existence, you are the living, you are the dying, you are the dead. You are the crying, the screaming, the hurting, the bodies that bled It is all one, it is all memory, it’s all different slices of what you are, globally it’s unified and a continuum, there is no true individuality fundamentally. The tortured, the r@ped, the beaten, that’s all literally you. It’s us, it’s I, it’s me