trying to survive my son

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Yo, it’s hard, every day feel like war, Ten years deep and I can’t take much more, He slam doors, run away, curse my name, Then I cry in the kitchen tryna hide all the pain. Neighbors hear the yelling through the walls at night, I’m exhausted, mentally barely holdin’ on tight, Everybody judging but they don’t really know, How it feels watchin’ your own baby lose control Teacher calls, principal sayin’ he snapped again, Other kids scared, now he barely got friends, He get in my face like he bigger than me, Say he hate this house and he hate this family. And I know there’s hurt buried deep in his chest, Maybe pain, maybe anger, maybe cryin’ for rest, But I’m only one woman tryin’ hard to survive, Holdin’ all this pressure while I’m barely alive. Late nights googlin’ programs on my phone, Wonderin’ if sendin’ him away means I failed on my own, That guilt hit heavy, like a chain on my soul, Every broken piece got me losin’ control. But I still keep showing up for him Stand next to him while i silently cry Cause beneath all the rage and the words that cut deep, That’s still my little boy that I promised to keep. Family say, “Jessica, you gotta let go,” But they ain’t in this storm when emotions explode, They don’t hear him screamin’ that he wish I was gone, Or the fear in my daughter when the fights go long. I’m tired of pretendin’ like I’m perfectly strong, Truth is lately everything just feel wrong, But a mother’s love different, it don’t die in defeat, Even shattered hearts still get back on they feet. Maybe treatment ain’t punishment, maybe it’s care, Maybe both of us drowning and need help somewhere, Maybe healing look ugly before it gets bright, Maybe askin’ for support ain’t losin’ the fight. I been carryin’ burdens that nobody sees, Trauma in my lungs every time that I breathe, Still I pray one day he gon’ understand, Everything I did was outta love, not demand. So I stand in the fire with my scars exposed, Still his mama no matter how hard this goes, And I know one day we gon’ look back and see, We survived every storm that was sent to break me. To the moms feelin’ lost with they back to the wall, You ain’t weak just because sometimes you fall, Keep fightin’, keep lovin’, even when hope seem gone, Cause the darkest nights still lead into dawn.

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Jessica Crawford

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2 months ago

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2 months ago

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QueTTrillA

2 months ago

Fiya 🚀 LIT 🔥 Bars: Dope 🔥 Delivery: Dope 🔥 Impression: Dope 🔥

Daryl Williams