wajood

Lagta hai darr jeene se nahi raha, ‎ ‎Par jeene ki koi wajah bhi nahi bachi. ‎ ‎Zindagi ko kheench raha hoon main, ‎ ‎Par samajh nahi aata - kis ke liye jee raha hoon main. ‎ ‎ ‎Raat bhar jaagta hoon, neend bhi rooth gayi, ‎Soch mein hi doob kar so padhta hoon. ‎Baaton baaton mein kabhi ro padhta hoon, ‎Aur har mod pe khud se hi takra padhta hoon. ‎ ‎Zindagi se shikwa kya karun, ‎Jab khud hi uski wajah ban gaya hoon. ‎Main toh khud ko hi kahin kho baitha hoon, ‎Apni hi parchhaai se door ho baitha hoon. ‎ ‎ ‎Kaise baatein karti ho tum, ‎Jaise kuch mehsoos hi na hota ho. ‎Aur main… kya kya karta hoon tumhare liye, ‎Shayad tumhe kabhi dikhai hi na deta ho. ‎ ‎ ‎Itna pyaar karta hoon tumse, ‎Ki lafz bhi kam pad jaate hain. ‎Likhta hoon itna, jaise lahu bhi kam pad jaaye, ‎Gaata hoon itna, ki awaaz bhi saath chhod jaaye. ‎ ‎ ‎Sharab tak chhod di maine, ‎Nasha bhi ab nahi karta hoon. ‎Bas ek baar mil jao tum, ‎Main sab kuch phir se jee sakta hoon. ‎ ‎ ‎Phir kyun baat karti ho chhodne ki, ‎Jab main abhi tak yahin khada hoon? ‎Tumse hi juda hoon main, ‎Aur tumse hi juda rehna chahta hoon ‎ ‎ ‎Uljhe hue saare taar hain, ‎Main chahoon toh dor suljha doon. ‎Bas ek baar tu samajhne ki koshish kar, ‎Main khud ko bhi samjha doon. ‎ ‎ ‎Par shayad baat itni si nahi hai, ‎Jitni main bana deta hoon. ‎Tumhe paane ki zid mein, ‎Khud ko hi khona deta hoon. ‎ ‎ ‎Ab lafz bhi kam padne lage hain, ‎Jaise dil ne bolna chhod diya ho. ‎Bas ek khamoshi reh gayi hai andar, ‎Aur usme hi kahin main kho gaya hoon. ‎ ‎ ‎Kisko samjhaun main apna yahan, ‎Na koi raha, na mera wajood hi raha. ‎Waqt laga, par jaana maine aakhir, ‎Khud se hi kitna door ho gaya. ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Jo tha kabhi mera, woh bhi chhoot gaya, ‎Jo main tha, woh bhi kahin toot gaya. ‎Dhoondta raha apni pehchaan main, ‎Par har dafa khud se hi rooth gaya. ‎