The DealMaker
(Verse 1) Yo, pull up in a Honda, leave in a jet I haven’t even started and I’m winning the bet I sold a solar panel to a man on the sun Then I sold him some shade, yeah, I’m already done. I’m the shark in the water, the wolf at the door I sold a king-size bed to a man on the floor. Got a bridge in Brooklyn? Yeah, I bought it for a dime Then I flipped it to a guy who was short on time. (Chorus) I’m the deal-maker, the handshake faker The "take your whole cake and the salt from the shaker." I’ll trade you a button for a brand new car Then sell the car back for a jar of tar. Call me the closer, the master of the "Yes" I’ll sell a messy room and call it "minimalist express." (Verse 2) I walked into a meeting with a paper clip Walked out with a yacht and a cruise-line ship. I sold ice to an Eskimo? That’s amateur hour I sold a dry umbrella to a man in the shower. I’m so persuasive, I’m so intense I sold a broken clock and said it saves you events. "It’s not broken, it’s vintage, it’s stuck in the past!" He gave me five stars, said the quality lasts. (Verse 3) I sat down with a giant, he was acting real tough I traded him a pebble for all of his stuff. I told him it’s a "Diet Boulder," low-carb and light He thanked me for the bargain and he tucked it in tight. I’ll trade a slice of bread for the whole dang bakery I’m the undisputed king of the boardroom quackery. Sign on the line, don’t read the fine print I just sold you the air and a sugarless mint. (Outro) Yeah, deal’s done. Check’s cleared. I just sold you this song... And you don't even have ears. Wait, you do? Fine, that’ll be another twenty bucks. Pleasure doing business.
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(Verse 1) Yo, pull up in a Honda, leave in a jet I haven’t even started and I’m winning the bet I sold a solar panel to a man on the sun Then I sold him some shade, yeah, I’m already done. I’m the shark in the water, the wolf at the door I sold a king-size bed to a man on the floor. Got a bridge in Brooklyn? Yeah, I bought it for a dime Then I flipped it to a guy who was short on time. (Chorus) I’m the deal-maker, the handshake faker The "take your whole cake and the salt from the shaker." I’ll trade you a button for a brand new car Then sell the car back for a jar of tar. Call me the closer, the master of the "Yes" I’ll sell a messy room and call it "minimalist express." (Verse 2) I walked into a meeting with a paper clip Walked out with a yacht and a cruise-line ship. I sold ice to an Eskimo? That’s amateur hour I sold a dry umbrella to a man in the shower. I’m so persuasive, I’m so intense I sold a broken clock and said it saves you events. "It’s not broken, it’s vintage, it’s stuck in the past!" He gave me five stars, said the quality lasts. (Verse 3) I sat down with a giant, he was acting real tough I traded him a pebble for all of his stuff. I told him it’s a "Diet Boulder," low-carb and light He thanked me for the bargain and he tucked it in tight. I’ll trade a slice of bread for the whole dang bakery I’m the undisputed king of the boardroom quackery. Sign on the line, don’t read the fine print I just sold you the air and a sugarless mint. (Outro) Yeah, deal’s done. Check’s cleared. I just sold you this song... And you don't even have ears. Wait, you do? Fine, that’ll be another twenty bucks. Pleasure doing business.