Psycho999 - Proto The Prophet
#Psycho999 #ProtoTheProphet #Canada #Funny #Comedy #CanadianGoose #Proto I’m trekking through the tundra, looking for a sign But all I found was Proto, standing in a line! At a Tim Hortons drive-thru, preaching to a moose His prophecies are slippery, like a Canada Goose! [Verse 1] Oh, Proto the Prophet, in his park-a made of gold Predicting that the winter is gonna be... cold? Wow, what a revelation! Truly a divine spark! He’s the only guy who gets lost in a National Park! He said he saw the future in a bowl of split pea soup But it was just a maple leaf stuck in a hula-hoop! [Chorus] Oh, Canada! Land of the brave and the polite And Proto’s in the corner, losing every fight! He’s "dissolving" like a puck on a heated skating rink The only thing he’s prophesied is that his socks really stink! He’s the King of the North... of his own backyard Trying to act "Death Metal" while he’s holding a library card! [Verse 2] He tried to curse the Rockies, but he tripped on a beaver dam Now he’s apologizing to a jar of strawberry jam! "Sorry!" he screams, with a guttural growl While he’s wrapped in a soggy, Hudson’s Bay towel. He said the world would end in a poutine explosion But the only thing eroding is his brain’s own erosion! [Bridge] (Slow, heavy breakdown with the sound of a chainsaw) BEHOLD THE PROPHET! He’s got a vision! It’s a sale on flannel! IN THE MEN’S DIVISION! (Death metal scream) SYRUP IS THICKER THAN HIS PLOOOOOOOOOOOT! [Outro] So keep your crystal ball, and your mountie hat too Proto, the only person you’re fooling is you! Go back to the igloo, turn the prophecy down You’re the funniest "Prophet" in this whole maple town! (Sound of a hockey whistle) (Spoken) "Take off, eh?" (Final heavy chord fades into a banjo strum)
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#Psycho999 #ProtoTheProphet #Canada #Funny #Comedy #CanadianGoose #Proto I’m trekking through the tundra, looking for a sign But all I found was Proto, standing in a line! At a Tim Hortons drive-thru, preaching to a moose His prophecies are slippery, like a Canada Goose! [Verse 1] Oh, Proto the Prophet, in his park-a made of gold Predicting that the winter is gonna be... cold? Wow, what a revelation! Truly a divine spark! He’s the only guy who gets lost in a National Park! He said he saw the future in a bowl of split pea soup But it was just a maple leaf stuck in a hula-hoop! [Chorus] Oh, Canada! Land of the brave and the polite And Proto’s in the corner, losing every fight! He’s "dissolving" like a puck on a heated skating rink The only thing he’s prophesied is that his socks really stink! He’s the King of the North... of his own backyard Trying to act "Death Metal" while he’s holding a library card! [Verse 2] He tried to curse the Rockies, but he tripped on a beaver dam Now he’s apologizing to a jar of strawberry jam! "Sorry!" he screams, with a guttural growl While he’s wrapped in a soggy, Hudson’s Bay towel. He said the world would end in a poutine explosion But the only thing eroding is his brain’s own erosion! [Bridge] (Slow, heavy breakdown with the sound of a chainsaw) BEHOLD THE PROPHET! He’s got a vision! It’s a sale on flannel! IN THE MEN’S DIVISION! (Death metal scream) SYRUP IS THICKER THAN HIS PLOOOOOOOOOOOT! [Outro] So keep your crystal ball, and your mountie hat too Proto, the only person you’re fooling is you! Go back to the igloo, turn the prophecy down You’re the funniest "Prophet" in this whole maple town! (Sound of a hockey whistle) (Spoken) "Take off, eh?" (Final heavy chord fades into a banjo strum)
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