This a letter to the world, yeah I’m sayin’ it clear,
This a letter to the world, yeah I’m sayin’ it clear, You see a “lazy mother,” I see ten years of tears, You see a child actin’ out, you judge me on sight, But you don’t live the war that I’m fightin’ each night. You don’t see the mornings where I drag outta bed, Mind already heavy, thousand thoughts in my head, Tryna regulate myself while I’m raisin’ a son, Who’s fightin’ battles inside that can’t be outrun. You just see the surface—“he don’t listen, he’s wild,” So you label me the problem, say I failed as a mom, Like I didn’t have dreams of a soft, gentle child, Like I wanted this storm, like I chose all this chaos. But reality different— He was three when it hit, Diagnoses like thunder, split my world into bits, Now I’m raisin’ a mind that don’t work like the rest, While I’m learnin’ my own at thirty-three, no rest. Yeah, I’m neurodivergent, didn’t even know, So I’m teachin’ him control while I’m losin’ my own, Tryna build structure when my brain’s in a spin, Tryna pour from a cup that got cracks within. Tell me how that look from the outside view? You just see what we struggle with, not what we do, Not the patience I practice, not the love that I give, Not the nights I stay up just to help him exist. You don’t hear the talks, you don’t see the redirection, Don’t see me breakin’ cycles, fightin’ generational tension, Don’t see me holdin’ him when the world don’t make sense, Don’t see me choosin’ love when I’m drained to the end. But you’ll say— “She ain’t doin’ enough,” “She too tired, too soft, she just givin’ up,” You’ll paint me as worthless, like I don’t even try, While I’m barely holdin’ pieces of myself inside. I’m tired— Not the kind sleep fixes, not the kind that fades, The kind that builds up from a decade of strain, Ten years in my shoes, you wouldn’t last a week, But you speak on my life like it’s yours to critique. Walk my path— Feel the weight that I carry each day, Fight your own mind while you guide someone the right way, Watch your child struggle and not know what to do, Then tell me I’m lazy—go ahead, say it too. ‘Cause that’s what it feels like, that’s what you give, Like I’m failin’ at life when I’m fightin’ to live, Like I’m not enough for the ones that I love, Like I’m fallin’ short no matter how much I give up. And yeah… I’m breakin’— Slow cracks in my chest, overflow in my soul, Every word that you throw just adds to the hole, You don’t see how close I be to losin’ my grip, How I’m holdin’ on tight just to not slip. This world got a way of makin’ you feel small, Like you’re dirt on the ground, like you nothin’ at all, Like your effort don’t count, like your pain ain’t real, Like your fight every day ain’t a reason to heal. But listen— You’re not worthless. You’re overwhelmed, exhausted, fightin’ battles unseen, Carryin’ weight that would break most in between, And the fact that you’re here, still standin’ for your son, Still tryin’, still lovin’, when you feel undone— That says everything. So before you judge me, before you decide, Before you label my worth from the outside— Live ten years in the life that I’ve known… Then come tell me… You wouldn’t be breakin’ too.
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This a letter to the world, yeah I’m sayin’ it clear, You see a “lazy mother,” I see ten years of tears, You see a child actin’ out, you judge me on sight, But you don’t live the war that I’m fightin’ each night. You don’t see the mornings where I drag outta bed, Mind already heavy, thousand thoughts in my head, Tryna regulate myself while I’m raisin’ a son, Who’s fightin’ battles inside that can’t be outrun. You just see the surface—“he don’t listen, he’s wild,” So you label me the problem, say I failed as a mom, Like I didn’t have dreams of a soft, gentle child, Like I wanted this storm, like I chose all this chaos. But reality different— He was three when it hit, Diagnoses like thunder, split my world into bits, Now I’m raisin’ a mind that don’t work like the rest, While I’m learnin’ my own at thirty-three, no rest. Yeah, I’m neurodivergent, didn’t even know, So I’m teachin’ him control while I’m losin’ my own, Tryna build structure when my brain’s in a spin, Tryna pour from a cup that got cracks within. Tell me how that look from the outside view? You just see what we struggle with, not what we do, Not the patience I practice, not the love that I give, Not the nights I stay up just to help him exist. You don’t hear the talks, you don’t see the redirection, Don’t see me breakin’ cycles, fightin’ generational tension, Don’t see me holdin’ him when the world don’t make sense, Don’t see me choosin’ love when I’m drained to the end. But you’ll say— “She ain’t doin’ enough,” “She too tired, too soft, she just givin’ up,” You’ll paint me as worthless, like I don’t even try, While I’m barely holdin’ pieces of myself inside. I’m tired— Not the kind sleep fixes, not the kind that fades, The kind that builds up from a decade of strain, Ten years in my shoes, you wouldn’t last a week, But you speak on my life like it’s yours to critique. Walk my path— Feel the weight that I carry each day, Fight your own mind while you guide someone the right way, Watch your child struggle and not know what to do, Then tell me I’m lazy—go ahead, say it too. ‘Cause that’s what it feels like, that’s what you give, Like I’m failin’ at life when I’m fightin’ to live, Like I’m not enough for the ones that I love, Like I’m fallin’ short no matter how much I give up. And yeah… I’m breakin’— Slow cracks in my chest, overflow in my soul, Every word that you throw just adds to the hole, You don’t see how close I be to losin’ my grip, How I’m holdin’ on tight just to not slip. This world got a way of makin’ you feel small, Like you’re dirt on the ground, like you nothin’ at all, Like your effort don’t count, like your pain ain’t real, Like your fight every day ain’t a reason to heal. But listen— You’re not worthless. You’re overwhelmed, exhausted, fightin’ battles unseen, Carryin’ weight that would break most in between, And the fact that you’re here, still standin’ for your son, Still tryin’, still lovin’, when you feel undone— That says everything. So before you judge me, before you decide, Before you label my worth from the outside— Live ten years in the life that I’ve known… Then come tell me… You wouldn’t be breakin’ too.
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