ReBeL

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The silence is screamin’, my demons are feedin’ On every last word that I thought I was needin’… Thought it’d get better but I was just dreamin’ Never did shit right was always the one schemin’ Tha more that I smoke the more I be Feenin’  Every "I'm sorry" I hid, every "I love you" I’d dismiss This mental prison, the walls startin’ to thin  But the ghost in the corner just grins at my sin, let me begin… The lead in my chest, a soul bein’ pressed By the weight of the words that I never addressed Conversations on pause, stuck in a messy ass web  Regrets on the phone that I never let connect, what the heck? I’m talkin’ ‘bout last looks, the chapters I never closed The love that I ghosted, the trust I disposed  The beef that we fostered ‘til the friendship just eroded Now my mental is loaded with scenes that just get reloaded, it’s coded… This pain is a coat, I’m zipped in the lining Sunshine? I’m findin’ that sign is a lie, man, I’m dyin’ Infinite void where the light is resignin’ Just me and the shadows and thoughts I’ve been sidin’ with, hidin’ in. Navigatin’ the night, this chaotic-ass peace Where the sorrow don’t cease and the hurt don’t release I’m tossin’ and turnin’, these blankets a trap Replayin’ the past, every mishap, every lapse, i collapsed… Coulda, shoulda, woulda’s, the devil’s favorite slang  A never-endin’ game where the rules never change  I’m stalked by the echoes of a final "goodbye" The tear in your eye that I acted too sly to decry, tell me why… I’m shackled to moments, the times I got shook The pages I never took the time to go look The bond that I broke with the strength that I took Now my spirit is shook, I’m a prisoner of my own notebook, damn, it’s… Heavy, the grey is my permanent hue  Can’t see no tomorrow, only what I ain’t do  This sorrow’s a current, pullin’ my vessel right through  I’m drownin’ in memories, tryna find a residue… of the truth. Every choice I made, dawg, left a scar that's deep and raw Naw, ain't no escapin' this, it's just my own damn mental draw Stuck in this loop of terror, paralyzed by self-inflicted flaw Just me and my reflections, caught in my own personal brawl This weight on my shoulders, fam, heavy like a ton of bricks Prayin' for some peace of mind, swear I'm tired of these damn tricks Just wanna lay this burden down, escape these painful flicks But the past ain't lettin' go, keep playin' all its wicked licks So I just walk these halls, man, in my head, 'til the break of day Replayin' every moment, every word I didn't say The ghost still grinnin', fam, cuz the devil and his demons are winnin ’ As long as we keep sinnin’ My wheels in my head never stop spinnin’ My past sins I keep hidden Knowing tha things I did are forbidden Acting like life was a joke 9 outta 10 commandments I broke So stayin’ highs how I cope Knowin’ Heaven for me there’s no hope I hung myself and really tightened tha rope The devil was sellin there’s no denying’ Sin after sin I kept buyin’ Look in my eyes you’ll see I’m not lyin’ No time for sorry no tears left for cryin’ Getting high just to keep passin the timin’ I’d Pray for forgiveness but God stopped replyin’

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