Not Doin Well

🎵 “NOT DOIN’ WELL” ⸻ [Intro] Yeah… I smile for the crowd but I’m dyin’ inside, yeah You wouldn’t get it though… No one does ⸻ [Verse 1] They say, “You look happy,” I lie and agree, Pop a few pills just to silence the screams, Demons been lurkin’, they follow my lead, I run from my thoughts but they faster than me. I told my mom I’m okay, I told my girl I’m fine, But truth is, I’m countin’ the seconds of time, I’m losin’ myself in the darkest of days, I rap about pain, then I drown in the praise. Fans in my face like “You changed my life,” But I still can’t sleep through the pain at night, Used to dream of the fame and the shows, Now I dream of a place where nobody goes. ⸻ [Chorus] I’m not doin’ well, I just say that I am, Bottle in my hand, I don’t know who I am, Smilin’ in pics, but it’s all just a scam, Tryna fix my soul with a couple of grams. I’m not doin’ well, I been breakin’ in silence, Singin’ these songs while I’m lost in the violence, Wishin’ well dry, now I’m cryin’ to God, Hopin’ someone pulls me outta the fog. ⸻ [Verse 2] I got racks now, plaques now, fans in the stands now, But the ones I loved ain’t holdin’ my hands now, I got pain on replay, loopin’ like a DJ, Told ‘em I’m okay, but I ain’t been okay. Every night’s a rerun, hurtin’ like a pre-cut, I don’t need a bandage, I need someone to keep up, Life feel like a trap and the walls closin’ in, I built this empire on bottles and sin. They say I inspire, I say I’m a fake, I lie through my teeth with a smile I make, Juice in my veins, but I’m feelin’ like lead, I could write a thousand songs, still feel dead. I know I made it far, but I feel so gone, Got a room full of people, still feelin’ alone, If I disappear, will they notice I’m missin’? Or just play the songs and ignore what they didn’t…