miss you

People think my life is perfect I think I’m worthless your toxic she text what’s the issue I said you hurt me she said I apologize she said already miss you she said it’s like you put a love spell on me I didn’t you just got too know the real me not the fake me most people get the fake me it’s draining the real me is so confusing she loves me for me but it’s not easy I push people away I hurt everybody I get close too I just don’t want you too be hurt the same I hate you but I miss you you said something fucked up but I know you didn’t mean it you was just mad I know it’s still fucked up what you said there’s history in that last time it got too real You said sorry I’ll go too hell 1,000 times just too protect you hope you can see where I’m coming from I would you do the same for me love would you do the same Can’t say I’m in love all the way but all I know is that I care too much and I stay guarded all the way The only way I know you care is when yell at me all up in my face but you don’t walk away I’m the one that walked away It doesn’t mean I don’t care I just don’t want you too see the tears I’ve already died inside but your the only one brings me back too life I fucking hate you but I love you I keep lying too myself that I don’t miss you I just wanna kiss you talk too you tell you everything not just what you wanna hear You say the truth doesn’t bother you yet it offends you everytime I tell you the truth I trigger you I know that’s wrong but your doing the same too me You worth it but your toxic you trigger me everyday I’m just trying too feel love haven’t had a lot of love since I was young you see At 7 life started too get fucked up my mom couldn’t protect me can’t say what happened too me don’t like too talk about it it’s my darkest secrets I’m taking too the grave but you still trying too make me talk about it that triggers me don’t you know but my panic attacks are sometimes too suffocating No ones sees or cares about the shit that happened too me You didn’t believe me then you talked too my moms your eyes got wide like that broke your brain I panic sometimes around you sometimes I don’t know what too say it’s not you it’s me but you take things too personal anyway Last girl that told me too kill myself she was dead too me not you never could be dead too me you always worth it see I can’t fix your problems I’m sorry I can’t even fix my own how am I supposed too fix yours when I feel like I’m on my own You wonder why I take drugs she hates drugs she only does Xanax and drinks those are drugs she doesn’t see it that way Please Don’t be fake explain yourself all the way I want too see your true colors not the ones you hate You got a good heart I do too that’s why people use us everyday it’s a shame how the world is this way I hate most people anyway everyone feels the same people I’m around make me feel empty but I stay I help everyone don’t know how too help myself too matter how many pills I take Fake shit can stay away Woah woah woah fake shit stay away woah woah woah why is my soul fading away