I know in my heart you don't understand me and you will never choose me ....I know that i ain't special or nothing but I

I know in my heart you don't understand me and you will never choose me ....I know that i ain't special or nothing but I do have something special about me I happen to find it yet but my journey is not complete I thought it was love at first sight of me and you eyes I mean you was a fun person I was a  fun person kinda plain Jane I can feel it in air mannn .... i felt ur energy instantly I'm trying not to but I I loved you i love you do you not understand do you not compreh maybe you just don't care I think Ill always wonder what you seen in me A NOBUDY whose TRYING so hard TO BE SEEN BY YOU... I mean it was so hard for me not to fall in love with you when you looked at me I knew you only lusted me with all that said and done i hope your happy knowing all this roght now I'm sitting in Benji's back yard on the swing in this raining making this song I wish you wanted to get me away from here start a life make your house our home and get me out the street love me unconditionally an ill love you more but again only if I had one wish or a genie in a bottle I know you only felt bad for me and then you got to in deep & u didn't know how to stop quit the results is me standing here without you by my side like you was at first these words I'm speaking are from my heart no lie to rehears I want you to know how I really feel you already know I'm going to keep it real honestly i just I don't want to have to tell and wonder if ur going to be there even though I carry   plenty baggagess more then the  usual. I be playing that tough guy or what do they call it miss  independent ..  I do admit shit I still get tired of smilin wen I be sad as then a bitch.  And then, even I need a hand TO HOLD ..RIGHT?? DONT I ?? I WANT SOMEONE TO TELL me that Im loved & that I DO matter.... I know this might be needy &sound alil cheesy but shit Id be  lyin if I dn’t say that I too on the down low wish that he I mean , know example If you don’t talk 2 me for a day, u should feel something missing. I should at least run across yo mind one time a day.. & u  knw why that is? Bcuz you matter to me. I was there for you. Listen to you cry an morn and what's sad it wasn't even for me .... So when you are not here ....  it makes me sad. I feel let down. I feel a big tug pull to my heart. I feel that maybe I was lied to...  Maybe, it was only me who felt those these things. Iv just explained & I start to overthink and overanalyze. That’s how I ruin my peace. & I guess your peace  I create my own hell. &  with each passing hour, I get deeper in my mind  I start to doubt every word you've ever said You can’t expect me to keep our bond alive while you don’t care if it dies.... Athe next day.. . You can’t tell me that I think too much  while you don’t think about me at all. It’s basic human nature to expect some love in return  when we give so much love ... I refuse to be the light that keeps shining all alone  , every day.. Do You see???? All I ever wanted was to be with you. You know, I thought that I could be  content wit this one-sided pure love in which I would keep running after you even if you keep running away from me. Type relationship But I can't its pure hell,    So I am writing this to let you know that I am done ding ding ding KO the winner is (DC) I am done chasing you ONLY  bcuz I DO i love you but It takes two for love to stay....    ~mooky.....