x sex addict

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these feelings got me to much in my head". why do guys have to lie ? i can cry but it just doesn't matter because I'm back again and we fuckin after. playing with my emotions is like playing with ur head and I get lost with you when I'm in your bed the feeling I get from u leaves me talking to others socially dead when it's obvious your ignoring all of the things that I just said and u just don't care to try and honestly neither do I. those piercing words that flutter from ur beautiful mouth They are not just hurtful but pleasure from you now I forgive you over and over again somehow but confusion leaves me bruzen not knowing if I'm coming. or going winning or losing. is this really reality and or is this illusion. my gut tells me ur no good, your bad for my health screaming out loud wake up is this heaven or hell? I'm sick of all the games and drama praying on my hands and knees i need to get well. it just seems like each time we fuck I hope this time im the one your chosen but every day is a new day and you'll forget me after u call over brandy carey or even suzen. like razors I'm cut deep from what u call fun and after we get high together these scars left on my brain makes me wanna run. ptsd leaves me broken and damaged with no one to pick up the pieces but I still manage and over and over I paint in my head this beautiful cavis of a picked white fence around this dungeon but just like the last one that left me running you left me the same way gasping for air I'm breathless all of a sudden. but here I am again on the dayley I continue to break and ach when I see u with someone but no matter if u love me or hate me I'm still comin and when it's just me and you home smokin and chillen were still fuckin. it could be a rainy day with the sun shining and I ask myself how much can I take each time im left crying I tell myself "just say good bye , just let him fly, so high in the sky like Aladdin on his carpet fuckin cloud nine all of the time. lonely I sit wishing I had some one to call mine. but I take a hit and ask God to give me a sign. let me know why I continue to sinn wondering does he like me and when are we gonna fuck again when you touch me it's like pleasure and pain. wanting you more after I leave I could just go insane. and I ask myself again and again "why am I attracted to these types of men ??" you and I ?? we just don't blend. but you r sex so good I could do it again. when it comes to u I am a sex addict pleasure or pain I just gotta have it .

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