Drink till I'm drunk

Man i been heartbroken for quite some time Nothin seems to help these demons i harbor inside got me contemplatin suicide so i crack a brew coz thats what seems to get my mind right keeps me out of my fight or flight i just dont know who ive become ppl summon my worst its a bloodbath man they make it so hard for me let go n let love in i dont know what I'm runnin from, but i just keep runnin wishin i could slow down ive just never been showed how in the fast life it is what it is people only in it for themselves puttin all logics of right n wrong on the back shelf reguardless how many lives theyve fucked up if you give me your heart imma throw it back i been in this darkness for so long that the agony of a broken heart kept me from even wantin to start pickin myself up n gettin my shit together constantly tested n broken all the way back to the bottom again these scars i ripped em open i lost my inner light my reason to even fight the only person that will always have ya back n never let you down no matter what is yourself i hate it its a very lonely path in the end you only got yourself to rely on i keep it real n never back down on a mission to bounce back no more mister nice guy only that creepy clown thats a fact so why do i drink till im drunk why do i drink till im gone i dont want to feel anything no more man numb seems to be the way to go its heaven without the pain some things never change im broken man i feel so lame man it feels likei cant fit in with society you may not like who i am but im me a crayze mother fucker with w plan always stayin 💯 with myself i don't fuck around so if you step to me or get in my way ill straight lay you down 6 ft into the ground this pain i harbor inside of me got me lost n not wantin to be found ive got nothin left no confidence dignity or pride only seen as a savage you wanted it you can have it these demons be laughin death is what we trapped in never had a sense of belonging, always felt like an outcast its been a long hard last few years so i been kickin the beers back tired of bein told everythings gone be alright when without a doubt im not as these tears of death roll off my face its the pain i cant escape i just need to stay away from ppl overwelmed with pain and anxiety i just wanna wake up n not feel shit straight numb gotta get my mind right coz this is the fight of a lifetime sign down on the dotted line totally wasted walkin sideways lookin for better days n better ways so tell me why do i drink till im drunk why do i drink till its gone i dont want to feel anything no more man numb seems to be the way to go its heaven without the pain some things never change im a broken man i feel so lame no i dont wanna be like this forever completely stuck in karmas bottomless pit of rage always holdin onto shit never lettin go gettin scrutinized like im right under the microscope i could go for w big ole line of dope it would help me cope im always tested n undereatimated straight taken advantage of for my kindness ive lost so many friends to fakeness n street games guess ima have to start bein ruthless downright relentless i hit my knees n pray everyday coz I'm constantly reminded that it takes strrength n good will to keep going n never give of coz Failure is not an option this is it for me im all in so why do i drink till im drunk why do i drink till im gone i dont want to feel anything no more man numb seems to be the way to go its heaven without the pain some things never change its got me broken heart ripped wide open