this unbearable pain

my heart just has no filter no flame no fire no fuel just the big ass blues some people can say i love u but i cant do that any damn day because I have nobody to love or count on or trust anymore in this so caled fucken friendly ass world. all i can do is really blame this on myself i know i fucken up everything and everything i ever loved. i thought i knew how to do that but now all i have beeen doing is screwing around and fucken terrin my family apart from the strt i never belonged i knew someday some how i would end up on my own in a different home same state not same place different family different personalities all i can do now is not rember it its like my heart chooses to forget u and my past like this is the last time im gonna live all i do in my life is get attached to people and then get fucked up in the head as i watch those people fade away because i hurt myself by doing wrong now here i am opening up right now in this song probley gonna regret this onl if u knew what the fuck this reall neant for me being in the system nd now havin nothin without permission i wish u vould fucken know thepain but all i know right now is that i am the blamw for all this fucked up shit