No L🚫ve

These days I sit ponder, wondering why we met each other. Days been hard here come another, tough love gives me scars n nightmares. I wake thinking everday it’ll change, never that it’s just the same. Been through tears, fist n pain. I just wanna live again. Be happy, n smile with my fam. Live happy n show who I am. I Thank god for the blessing he the man. But this hurt is taking a toll on my body, it’s takin my soul feelin so fuckin cold, worst part I’m in is denile ppl tellin me it’s not worth my while. I go visit with my mom n we talk a lot so she can stay calm, she my soft spot when she look at me she don’t know. Who I am, where I’m at where did I go? All this time has just gon by n all I see is hurt in her eyes. Man shit is tearing me inside all I do is sit n fuckin cry That isn’t even the worst part. I haven’t seen my family but they still support. They only want to see my happy but right now I’m in the dark so dark I can’t be found. I have to over come I have to shine, for grandma, my cousins they are my spine. I think about them daily, I’m missing out on games, birthdays. N going out Call me crazy all I want to do is stay inside roll a blunt lay back n ease my mind the only thing I kno to take control of my pain and my past just let it go. I cant deal with this hurt no more every day my body is so sore, I just wanna live a good life wake up no issues no lies. Please lord take it all away I give you power to brighten up my days guide me through rightouness and grace my arms are wide open for your love please lord n the ones above